Friendsmob: The Excess Index
Welcome to Late-Stage Capitalism: The Game™
In a world where billionaires have literally run out of numbers to count their wealth (they just use infinity symbols now), the ultra-wealthy created The Excess Index - a 91-day competition where winning means owning the most ridiculous collection of EVERYTHING that exists.
Started by a drunk bet at a yacht party where someone claimed they owned "more kinds of people than Pokemon," this social trading phenomenon has evolved into the ultimate satirical capitalism simulator. Here, YOU become the morally bankrupt billionaire you always mocked, collecting humans like trading cards and exploiting their productivity for profit.
The Core Loop of Exploitation
BUY other players as "pets" from the dynamic marketplace - they're surprisingly okay with it!
EXPLOIT their productivity through work assignments - maximum efficiency, minimum empathy!
TRADE humans like stocks - insider trading is not just legal, it's encouraged!
PROFIT from your portfolio of people - watch those numbers go up!
COMPETE in 91-day seasons - climb the rankings and prove your worth!
WIN bragging rights as the most excessive collector - because what else matters?
Key Features
Social Trading Evolved
Buy and sell real players in a dynamic, player-driven economy
Smart market mechanics prevent fake account exploitation
Price history tracking and market trends
Trade humans like cryptocurrency, but with more moral bankruptcy
Multiple Income Streams
Work System: Generate passive income while you sleep when other players assign YOU work as their pet - truly passive exploitation!
Trading Profits: Every time someone buys one of YOUR pets, you profit big - watch your portfolio generate wealth with every transaction!
Bidding Wars: Engage in addictive bidding competitions where escalation is the only strategy
Market Flipping: Buy low, sell high, create artificial scarcity - it's capitalism 101!
Passive Appreciation: Your pets increase in value just by existing - like real estate but with people!
600+ Achievements & Progression
370+ All-Time Badges: Permanent progression that never resets
230+ Seasonal Badges: Fresh challenges every 91-day season
25+ Ranking Categories: Multiple ways to prove you're the worst/best
Trophy Display System: Show off your moral flexibility to others
Social Interaction is Everything
Value Through Connection: Your worth increases when others interact with you - networking is literally power!
Mutual Exploitation: Raise each other's values in a beautiful circle of capitalism
Community Driven Economy: Every player affects the market, every interaction matters
Social Trading Strategy: Know who to buy, when to sell, and who to befriend for maximum profit
Seasons & Competitions
91-Day Seasons: Fresh start every season with new opportunities to dominate
Daily Tasks: Complete objectives for rewards and progression
Weekly Tasks: Bigger challenges for bigger rewards
Weekly Rankings: Compete across multiple ranking categories that reset weekly
Multiple Winners: Excel in different areas - there's more than one way to win!
Addictive Trading Mechanics
Dynamic Pricing Algorithm: Every trade affects the market in real-time
Bidding Escalation System: Watch prices skyrocket as players fight over prime pets
Profit Notifications: Get that dopamine hit every time someone buys your pet
Market Timing Strategy: Know when to hold and when to dump your human assets
True Cross-Platform Play
Play Anywhere: Seamless progression across iOS, Android, Web, and Steam
Adaptive Interface: Experience optimized layouts for each platform - landscape for desktop, portrait for mobile
Server-Based Persistence: Every action is instantly saved on our servers - your empire is always secure
Universal Access: Start on your phone, continue on PC, check in via web - same game, same account
Game Modes & Activities
Daily Grind (5-30 minutes)
Complete daily tasks for rewards and progression
Collect work income from your human portfolio
Check market for undervalued humans to acquire
Monitor your weekly ranking positions
Strategic Planning (30-60 minutes)
Analyze market trends to maximize trading profits
Time your purchases before bidding wars escalate
Plan your seasonal collection strategy
Build your network of valuable connections
Competitive Seasons (Ongoing)
Compete in 25+ different ranking categories
Weekly and seasonal leaderboards
Multiple winners each season across categories
Exclusive rewards for top performers
⚠️ Satirical Capitalism Simulator Warning ⚠️
SIDE EFFECTS OF PLAYING FRIENDSMOB MAY INCLUDE:
Uncontrollable urge to monetize everything
Speaking exclusively in corporate buzzwords
Inability to see humans as anything but resources
Sudden understanding of trickle-down economics (still won't work)
Compulsive checking of meaningless metrics
Dreams about hostile takeovers
Explaining to friends why exploitation is "just optimal resource allocation"
This game contains:
Dark humor about capitalism
Satirical representations of corporate culture
Morally questionable decision making (it's just a game!)
Addictive number-go-up mechanics
Social features that may result in actual friendships (sorry)
No actual humans are harmed in the making of your empire
Join The 0.0001%
Stop pretending you have ethics and embrace your inner oligarch! In Friendsmob: The Excess Index, exploitation isn't just encouraged - it's the entire point. Build your empire of human capital, compete with thousands of other morally flexible players, and discover why the house always wins (spoiler: you ARE the house).
The pyramid scheme finally paid off. Time to climb to the top!
Remember: In The Excess Index, you're not just playing a game - you're disrupting the disruption of conventional gaming paradigms through innovative human resource acquisition strategies synergistically leveraging social dynamics for maximum stakeholder value!
Terms and conditions apply but no one reads those.
