SPLATCHINKO
Oh no. They gave us a pachinko… in space.
You wake up. You’re a HUGE, sentient… thing. You have one giant eye. And you can shoot pupils. Why? Because the universe is broken, Jimmy.
Welcome to Splatchinko: the roguelike where physics is depressed, enemies are space vegetables that judge you, and every shot might doom or save the last constellation of jelly-creatures.
Main Features:
Eyes as ammo. Pick the right eyeball. Each one has powers. Some of them scream.
Cosmic pachinko with distorted gravity. The laws of physics? We fired them.
Ridiculous enemies. Face nostalgic planets, interdimensional fennels, and the dreaded “Arturo.”
Every run is a trip. Absurd items, random upgrades, and mutations your mother would definitely not approve of.
Deep lore (written on acid). Who are we? Where are we? What is a planet? No one knows. Maybe the tutorial.
If you’re looking for a serious simulation of gravitational behavior in outer space, go play Kerbal.
But if you’d rather fire eyeballs across galaxies while being insulted by a planet that thinks it’s your uncle—then: SPLATCHINKO AWAITS.
